A New Journey Begins

My apologies to all my readers out there! I have been quiet busy at work and not focused on developing my blog. The balance that I strive for has been lost!

I have been going through a purchase of my company. What a roller-coaster ride over the last nine months. It has been exciting and very emotional. At the end of the acquisition I was just wiped out. My step-father told me that the industry calls it "Deal Weariness". I WAS WEARY!!

The good news, the new company made me an offer to stay! What a relief! We will call this new company "Big Red"!

I must say that I am truly very excited to be part of this solution. Big Red is profitable, efficient, and on top of their game! I have had more communication on what to expect and training since my first day that was on Monday, than I can remember.

I believe that being part of "Big Red" is going to ROCK!!!! We are going to change how Appliances (servers) and Services is going to be offered in the industry.

All I have to say to our competitor, there is a new BIG color and it isn't Blue! LETS GO BIG RED!!!

I am back!

41 Years on This Planet ~ A Day of Celebration

It was a wonderful day of celebration of my birth today. My two boy's got to experience a "Venti" birthday. Though it is not like past "Venti" birthday's, I am much more sober now than years past. But I must say today goes down in the record books!

We went to Denny's for my free breakfast

Got a new pair of Purple Checker-board Vans

Spent the afternoon bowling

Went home and took a nap

No picture of me sleeping ;-) I was sleeping!

Went to Red Robin with the family for Dinner!

What a GREAT day.

With that great day, I want to take a moment and reflect what I am grateful for after 41 years on this planet:

• Grateful for my my and my dad deciding to have a child
• Grateful for my mom as she said today "22 hours of labor was a pleasure". I have been through three child births, pleasurable does not come to mind ;-), but I am VERY GRATEFUL!
• I am grateful for everything my mom has ever done. She was a single mother raising a pain in the ass boy. She worked three jobs at one point in order for me to go to good schools. She taught me the lessons in life and gave me the tools to be a successful grown up. Mom, I LOVE YOU!
• I am grateful for my stepfather, he takes really good care of my mom. Gives her respect and has provided for her over the years on how I son would hope a stepfather would. THANK YOU!

• I am grateful for my first step-father, he was taken from us to early! But he raised me as his own son and gave me many of my values that I have today. I love you and miss you Bob!
• I am grateful for the two step-sister that I had growing up. Being an only child they treated me as a brother. Picked on me as a brother also.

• I am grateful to Laird Small of the Pebble Beach company. I worked for Pebble Beach as a Professional for many years at a very young age. He was patient with me and tried to teach me important lessons in life. I was to young and to cocky to listen at that time. But Laird, I use those lessons in the work-place today and through you and that time in my life, I have become more successful in my career.
• I am grateful to my current boss, he has mentored me and has been patient with me over the years. I have learned more with him than I would in any class-room. He has been honest and he has taught me lessons in life and business.
• I am grateful to have a job in this economy!
• I am grateful for the first loves in my life! They taught me how to love.
• I am grateful to my first wife, (though some call it notarized dating it was only six months), I now appreciate and respect what it actually takes to be married.
• I am grateful for "The Group"; I met you all through my first wife and you all have stuck with me through a lot of crazy times over the last 18 years. I miss you all and I wish I lived closer to you. You all have added so much value to my life I can not explain it!
• I am grateful for face-book. My friends new and old have given me so many birthday wishes, that it warmed my heart all day
• I am grateful to Mom's Club, through this we have two couple friends that have a total of SIX girls that are part of our lives. These are friends that we will have for a very long time through our children. They have been there for me and KD many times through out the years. I am now a God-Father to one of the girls!
• I am grateful for the Mac's and the DellaSkins; you have been such good friends for the last 11 years. YA 11 YEARS! CRAZY! You too have been there for us with no expectations! True friendship! I love you all so much!

• I am grateful for my in-laws, they are an extended family. They too provide the frame-work for the success of our family. Plus I go on some really really cool vacations with them ;-)
• I am grateful for my Mother in-law, we started out a little bumpy, but over the years we have grown very close and the respect we have for each other goes beyond words. I enjoy our talks in the back-garden!

• I am grateful for my Father in-law. For one he said it was OK for me to marry his daughter when I asked, though I had to wait until his oldest daughter was married first, not sure if that was a test or not ;-) He has given me sound advice over the years, when I have asked for it or not. He told me 10 years ago when I wanted to be a golf professional again "you wore that shirt already, get a new one"; He was RIGHT!
• I am grateful for my sister in-law, because there are just things that a husband does not understand about his wife. She sheds light!
• I am grateful for my brother in-law, he picked up the family and moved to Evergreen, 50 miles away. Now our boys will grow up with each other, I have a fishing buddy and someone to just talk with.

• I am grateful for KD, she has been putting up with me for 14 years now. We have two beautiful boys. She has been through some of the darkest times in my life and has helped me get to the light. We have a marriage that is not always easy, but it is successful and rewarding.
• I am grateful for this house we live in. It is full of love, kindness, happiness, and is truly a home.
• I am grateful for my pup! She was our first child and even though she sometimes does not get the attention she deserves from all of us. She reminds me everyday what unconditional love a dog has. This house would not be complete without her.
• I am VERY grateful for my two boy's. One does not know what they are missing from their life until these little guys come into it. They have taught the REAL MEANING of unconditional love. They have helped me get in touch with my silliness again and have provided so much love that it overwhelms me at times. I am more than grateful, I owe them EVERYTHING! (Of course until they become teenagers and I become a second class citizen in their lives. But until then, let me enjoy it!)
• I am grateful for God, Higher Power, Buddha, or whatever what one calls it. My favorite is God (Great Out Doors). But there is something that surrounds me, my family, and all of us. I try everyday to be this being; Honest, Loving, Forgiving, Compassionate, and a Friend.

After 41 years, life does not get easier, but looking back my life has been fulfilling, rewarding, and at times just WONDERFUL! Thank you to everyone on this list and for those that I did not get a chance to write about you have been part of who I am. You all have shaped me in some way, and that is what I am grateful for!

Regards,

Michael

Found a New Purpose

I have not been out here in awhile. A lot is going on in my world, with my company being bought and just too busy with work! Basically the motivation to share has BEEN LOW! My blogger friends keep telling me; "No posting, No followers!" It is just tough to find the time to write and share. Many folks let me know that they wish I would keep this thing going, they enjoy it and I do love sharing! So ONCE AGAIN, I am going to give it another SHOT!

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I have found what I have been missing in my life. I have a great loving marriage, beatuiful children and an increibile group of friends. But there was something missing and I did not even realize it! For us guys, it is like having kids. We do not realize that there is this hole in our hearts, until these little rug-rats come along. Than POW there it is, a purpose and a sense of fulfillment!

I recently became a den leader for R's Tiger Cub Scouts. It is the BEST experience for a father and it is filling that hole in my soul. It is has given me a reason to come back out to my blogger community and share again. The recent experiences have been INCREDIBLE!

I volunteered because R asked me too and frankly, I had NO PLANS to do this. It was just going to be another one of those activities you sign your kids up for, but when he asked I saw it in his little face that he really wanted me to participate. When I said yes, his face lit up!

He is so proud to have his dad as the den leader. He can feel his pride in me, and as a father this is the BEST reward in the world. I focus so much energy on showing and telling R and N how proud I am of them and I never thought what it would be like if it was reversed. The experience and feeling of my boy being proud of me goes beyond any words that could ever be written here!

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This weekend I took the boys for our "Go See It" to our local fire station. This months theme is about Heros and these guys are True Heros!

The boys and I had a BLAST, but I believe the firemen had more FUN! It was a two hour tour and could have been longer, but I had to let the men know the boys were getting tired. It is great to be around a group of men who love what they do and love showing it off.

Being a den leader has touched my inner-child. I get to be crazy and silly with the boys. The firemen used me as an example of what they do in extreme rescue situations.

I have to say I kinda of felt like Hannibal Lecter:

Than they just got mean ;-)

The boys thought it was AWESOME!

As I move down another path in fatherhood, I realize that I have an opportunity to influence not only my own boys, but through Cub Scouts, I can impact the lives of many other boys as well!

Life is GOOD!

What is Really Important

Well, I did not make it to the Big Break! I got the letter a couple of weeks ago, stating "please try again". Reflecting on this; I was a bit bummed, got through it and realized it was probably a good thing. Recently received a job promotion along with, my company is being acquired, taking two weeks off my not be the best for my career.

What would I change; I think I was too happy go lucky. Watching the show, I realized that I did not have enough "edge". Next year I am bringing it! Big edge and cockiness! Show and tell them how I will bring these youngings down. Bring the DRAMA and I got DRAMA!

When I posted that I did not make it, I received over 100 condolences. I was ASTONISHED on the replies from my FB family and twitter world. I am so grateful for my family friends and my cyber friends. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!

So what is going on now? Well, the corporate world is a buzz with my company getting purchased. It is a real interesting time for me. I started with my company nine years ago, six months later the "bubble" burst. Six months after that we had our first round of lay-offs.

Since thann my company has had seven lay-offs and I am grateful I have survived so far. The big one will be coming up soon if we get acquired. This acquisition has got me thinking a lot!

What can we really control in life? So many of my peers and friends at work are spun up an getting really worried about something that we have absolutely no control of. Don't get me wrong, I get a bit worried too.

Thus, my family and I went on a trip to Illinois to see some old friends from when KD was in high school! During this road-trip KD and I had some time to talk, road-trips are good for this, especially at night when the kids are sleeping in the back.

Our discussion was about what is really important. KD and I realize we really do sweat the small stuff way to often. We are blessed people, because of our family we will NEVER go without, we will never not have a place to live or not have food on the table. Our boys will be taken care of and we will always have love around us.

We get into these day to day arguments about the smallest things, like living the toilet sit up or not making the bed. From our trip we reflected that we need to remind each other of what is really important in this one life.

MY POINT IS THIS: So many things in life are out of my control. When I feel out of control the small things become bigger.

What is really important to me:

1. My spirituality ~ There is something bigger out there and remembering this instills humility into me. This higher power can own those things I can not control.
2. Relationship with my wife ~ She is my partner and best friend. Life gets going and sometimes we forget this. Our children are only guests, they will leave to go live their lives. We will be left with each other, we do not want to be strangers when this happens.
3. The boys and making time to spend with them one on one and together ~ I need to make memories with these boys as individuals and as brothers. The hole in my soul was completed when these two little beings came into my life!
4. Family ~ You can choose your friends but not your family (or in-laws). I am lucky to have a great group of people who support me as an individual and as a family. I am able to take chances in life because of these people. I am truly a blessed man!
5. Friends ~ We do get to choose our friends. I was told at a young age that one will be able t count their TRUE friends on one hand. We have lots of acquaintances in life. I am a sociable guy, I met lots of people. But I have a couple of guys in my life and a few woman who have come through in the most traumatic times. No questions, "just do it"! These are my "friends"!
6. Health ~ If I do not take care of this than I will not enjoy life. But this comes after the first five. For these people and my spirituality I would sacrifice my health!
7. Career ~ I enjoy what I do and I love the people I work with. I have opportunity to grow and challenge myself everyday. My career is what puts the food on the table and gives life opportunities. But it should not make up who I am!

With that I said I am taking the family camping and fishing!

"To guarantee success, act as
if it were impossible to fail."
- Dorothea Brande

The Big Break Interview Process

Well folks I have completed my audition for the Big Break!  It was so far one of my best experiences in golf.  I have to say, I have NOT been that nervous since my wedding day! 

For what the Big Break is:  http://www.thegolfchannel.com/bigbreak/

This is how it broke down:

Location: Scottsdale AZ

Time: 2:45pm

Temperature: 103 degrees (My face was as red as my shirt by the time I was done)

The producer I met (we will call him "D") was very nice and professional.  He help make the experience very positive!

Golf Performance:

In this first part D had me get set up with my 5 iron and took a still picture of my set-up.  Than I got reset and he had me swing to take a still picture of my swing.  I hit the ball right in the fore-head.  That poor ball was probably bleeding.  UGH!!!!

My heart was now really pumping, I could feel it beating in my chest.  

He than had me grab my driver and set up the TV camera across from me and I hit a couple of drives.  I set up and I POUNDED THEM down the range.  Felt pretty good, especially after my first shot was so poor.  

He than moved the camera behind me and had me hit my 5 iron again.  I laced both 5 irons and redeemed my self from my first shot.  THANK GOODNESS!

Than it was time to hit the flop shot over the imaginary 8 foot wall.  I was ready, I had been practicing this shot for the a last two weeks.  Made my swing!

D than stated that the ball hit the imaginary wall right in the center!  OUCH!  Next flop, I hit a 15 yard CHUNK!  My heart is just pumping!  D reminds me to just relax!  D tells me "the winner of Mesquite Big Break did not hit one of these in his audition."  I felt better and on my third one NAILED IT!

Last of my shots I had to make a 30 yard chip shot over an imaginary 16 foot wall.  First shot, CHUNK!  Just thinking OMG I have left my body, who is this person making these swings. Again, D states that we are not looking for results, we will analyze your swing and we can tell what you got from the video.  Again, I fell better and nail my last shot over the imaginary wall.

Next The Interview:

They moved me over to the next camera, still outside in the 103 degree weather.  I was mic'd up.  D asked the first question: "Tell me how you got started in golf?"  I went into my speech and about three minutes into it, D says, stop!  D states, "Michael take a deep breath, don't look at the camera, look at me.  We are just two guys having a conversation.  There are no right or wrong answers here."  

I took a couple of REAL deep breaths and did remember to exhale.  He than asked me how I met my wife.  I asked if he wanted the clean version or not ;-)  He than had me talk about my two boys, about being a racquetball instructor, and playing the min tours while following the Grateful Dead.  As I was talking about these things he said, "perfect" that is what I am looking for.  

To finish up the interview he asked me to look into the camera and said, "for the producers who are not here, why should you be on the Big Break."  All this stuff comes rushing into my head, what should I say, I mean thousands of things came running into my head.  I decided to keep it short.  I said, "I will bring passion for the game and excitement to the show.  Most importantly, we will just have FUN!"

My post thoughts of the interview

Of course one always thinks they could of said things differently and "should of could of" syndrome.  Having an opportunity to compete in a program to fulfill a dream is just wild!  I can not believe how nervous I was.  But in the end I just tried to be my true self and I feel good about that.

I think they are looking for a personality type to fill one of their 12 boxes.  I hope i fit one of their types.  If so they will place me with probably seven or eight other people who share similar traits.  Than they will compare us against each other and make a decision.  It is truly out of my hands now!

This was one of the coolest things I have done!  D from the Big Break was awesome!  Hoping I can make it to the show, I think I would be a very good ambassador for the program!  But at the end of the day, I took the LEAP to follow my dreams!  This is what life is about!

"What lies behind us, and what lies 
before us are small matters 
compared to what lies within us." 
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Next Step To Full Filling The Dream

Golf Channel has responded to my application:

"Dear Big Break Applicant:

 

Congratulations! You have been selected to move on to the next stage in the Big Break application process. The next stage is an in-person audition with two of Golf Channel’s producers. This audition consists of a golf performance evaluation and a ten minute 1-on-1 interview."

CRAZY!!!! June 2nd I am flying to Scottsdale, Arizona to audition for the Big Break TV Golf Reality show!  I really think I might have a shot at this.

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The interesting thing has begun, the OLD self-doubt!  I call it the committee, these voices in my head.  There is that one that wants to sabotage me.  I know in my heart of hearts I have the game and focus to compete at the highest levels of golf.  I have done it!  But there are times when that committee member "Mr. Sabotage" puts those thoughts that create self doubt, "What if".

I am a believer that we create our worlds from our perception.  So I have to work to keep this guy under control so I keep those positive vibes and a positive perception.  What I know is that golf is like life, what you put into it is what you get out of it.  Thus the best way to keep this guy at "bay", WORK EXTRA HARD & BE PREPARED!

I have been getting up at 5am to go to the gym and at the golf course at 6:45am to hit balls before I start my work day.  For my audition they told me I need to hit, cuts, draws, flops and some drives:

So each day ~ Before: 

After:

I believe that I put the time and commitment in, good things will happen!  This work shuts down the committee and Mr. Sabotage becomes silent. I am building a foundation of confidence!

T-minus 6 days until my audition and possibly a life changing experience!  The important thing to remember for me through all this is: "Success is not the destination, but the journey"!  THIS IS A COOL RIDE!

Commitment & Perseverance

Commitment: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future

Perseverance: to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement

Well played in my first Colorado State Golf Association (CGA) Men's Point Event in three years.  It went anything but the way I wanted it too.  The tournament was played in Loveland CO at The Olde Course.  I was SO nervous on the first three holes, my stomach felt like it was in my throat on the first tee.  Second hole 180 par three, my hands were "wet" from nerves.  IT FELT AWESOME!

I am not going to talk about my score, because for one, I really do not want too, second, there was a lot learned this weekend.  Prior to this event I had been playing very well and back at the gym getting fit.  I really felt I was in the best golf shape and my game was in the best early season shape in a very very long time.  

I had plans last week leading up to the event that I was going to keep my early morning gym commitment and get to the practice range before work.  I can give you a lot of reasons why I did not do this prior to play last weekend, but they would just be excuses.

Interesting KD said something during the week that hit home in mid-tournament.  She said "You get out of life what you put in to it".  I fell this is the same for golf.  How can I expect to excel at the highest levels of Amateur play in my state if I am not going to put the time and practice in to it.  It does cross my mind that I do have a family, a career, and I am a husband!  

KD and I worked out an agreement this year. Play in tournaments as long as the work around the house gets accomplished.  I respect this, when I play in tournaments I am gone on the weekends for two days eight to nine hours.  This makes her week days run into the weekends and she does not get a weekend.  I am gracious for her support and the sacrifice to permit me to compete at these levels.  But if she is going to make the sacrifice than I need to stick to my commitment; 5am gym work-out and practice range at 6:30am so I can get it in before work.  

In regards to my tournament play; On day one I actually was playing well through 11 holes.  Nothing going in the cup yet but nothing bad.  Unfortunately for some reason on 12 I ran out of patience.  I hooked my shot in the water trying to get a little more out of my drive.  Had to take a drop and instead of taking my "medicine" and punch back out to the fairway, I try to hit it over a VERY LARGE tree.  I end up making quadruple bogey.  I felt like I had to make something happen, when in reality I had so much golf left to be played, I needed to be patient.  I unfortunately did not recover after that hole.  I believe the lack of patience is just from not playing two day tournaments in a long time.

On the second day, nothing seem to go my way and got on the "old" bogey train.  After I would finish a hole I will say to myself; stay focused and "finish strong".  Kept saying it and kept making bogeys.  When I am playing this bad the level of discouragement is something that I can not put into words.  Then it occurred to me that I may in fact deserve this!  I did not put in the time needed before the tournament to be prepared.  

At dinner RS asked me how I did.  I said that I did not play well and I was a bit "bummed".  He than asked me "if I had fun".  BAM!  Right there my six year old puts it all into perspective!  No matter what, I was playing golf and doing something that I love!  Playing bad can be really hard, but being able to play is what I am thankful for!

I have three weeks to get ready for the Western Amateur in the first week of June.  KD is going to travel with me and caddy that weekend, my mom is flying out to take care of the boys. "Team Venti" is back out on the course after a break of having kids and starting our family!  Last time she caddied was the 2002 US Open Qualifier!  

With the support of my family, my commitment is to put in the time around game and fitness that is needed to be successful!  My whole family now plays golf, time spent practicing can be spent with my family!  LIFE is so good!

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” Tom Robbins

“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality.” ~ Unknown