41 Years on This Planet ~ A Day of Celebration

It was a wonderful day of celebration of my birth today. My two boy's got to experience a "Venti" birthday. Though it is not like past "Venti" birthday's, I am much more sober now than years past. But I must say today goes down in the record books!

We went to Denny's for my free breakfast

Got a new pair of Purple Checker-board Vans

Spent the afternoon bowling

Went home and took a nap

No picture of me sleeping ;-) I was sleeping!

Went to Red Robin with the family for Dinner!

What a GREAT day.

With that great day, I want to take a moment and reflect what I am grateful for after 41 years on this planet:

• Grateful for my my and my dad deciding to have a child
• Grateful for my mom as she said today "22 hours of labor was a pleasure". I have been through three child births, pleasurable does not come to mind ;-), but I am VERY GRATEFUL!
• I am grateful for everything my mom has ever done. She was a single mother raising a pain in the ass boy. She worked three jobs at one point in order for me to go to good schools. She taught me the lessons in life and gave me the tools to be a successful grown up. Mom, I LOVE YOU!
• I am grateful for my stepfather, he takes really good care of my mom. Gives her respect and has provided for her over the years on how I son would hope a stepfather would. THANK YOU!

• I am grateful for my first step-father, he was taken from us to early! But he raised me as his own son and gave me many of my values that I have today. I love you and miss you Bob!
• I am grateful for the two step-sister that I had growing up. Being an only child they treated me as a brother. Picked on me as a brother also.

• I am grateful to Laird Small of the Pebble Beach company. I worked for Pebble Beach as a Professional for many years at a very young age. He was patient with me and tried to teach me important lessons in life. I was to young and to cocky to listen at that time. But Laird, I use those lessons in the work-place today and through you and that time in my life, I have become more successful in my career.
• I am grateful to my current boss, he has mentored me and has been patient with me over the years. I have learned more with him than I would in any class-room. He has been honest and he has taught me lessons in life and business.
• I am grateful to have a job in this economy!
• I am grateful for the first loves in my life! They taught me how to love.
• I am grateful to my first wife, (though some call it notarized dating it was only six months), I now appreciate and respect what it actually takes to be married.
• I am grateful for "The Group"; I met you all through my first wife and you all have stuck with me through a lot of crazy times over the last 18 years. I miss you all and I wish I lived closer to you. You all have added so much value to my life I can not explain it!
• I am grateful for face-book. My friends new and old have given me so many birthday wishes, that it warmed my heart all day
• I am grateful to Mom's Club, through this we have two couple friends that have a total of SIX girls that are part of our lives. These are friends that we will have for a very long time through our children. They have been there for me and KD many times through out the years. I am now a God-Father to one of the girls!
• I am grateful for the Mac's and the DellaSkins; you have been such good friends for the last 11 years. YA 11 YEARS! CRAZY! You too have been there for us with no expectations! True friendship! I love you all so much!

• I am grateful for my in-laws, they are an extended family. They too provide the frame-work for the success of our family. Plus I go on some really really cool vacations with them ;-)
• I am grateful for my Mother in-law, we started out a little bumpy, but over the years we have grown very close and the respect we have for each other goes beyond words. I enjoy our talks in the back-garden!

• I am grateful for my Father in-law. For one he said it was OK for me to marry his daughter when I asked, though I had to wait until his oldest daughter was married first, not sure if that was a test or not ;-) He has given me sound advice over the years, when I have asked for it or not. He told me 10 years ago when I wanted to be a golf professional again "you wore that shirt already, get a new one"; He was RIGHT!
• I am grateful for my sister in-law, because there are just things that a husband does not understand about his wife. She sheds light!
• I am grateful for my brother in-law, he picked up the family and moved to Evergreen, 50 miles away. Now our boys will grow up with each other, I have a fishing buddy and someone to just talk with.

• I am grateful for KD, she has been putting up with me for 14 years now. We have two beautiful boys. She has been through some of the darkest times in my life and has helped me get to the light. We have a marriage that is not always easy, but it is successful and rewarding.
• I am grateful for this house we live in. It is full of love, kindness, happiness, and is truly a home.
• I am grateful for my pup! She was our first child and even though she sometimes does not get the attention she deserves from all of us. She reminds me everyday what unconditional love a dog has. This house would not be complete without her.
• I am VERY grateful for my two boy's. One does not know what they are missing from their life until these little guys come into it. They have taught the REAL MEANING of unconditional love. They have helped me get in touch with my silliness again and have provided so much love that it overwhelms me at times. I am more than grateful, I owe them EVERYTHING! (Of course until they become teenagers and I become a second class citizen in their lives. But until then, let me enjoy it!)
• I am grateful for God, Higher Power, Buddha, or whatever what one calls it. My favorite is God (Great Out Doors). But there is something that surrounds me, my family, and all of us. I try everyday to be this being; Honest, Loving, Forgiving, Compassionate, and a Friend.

After 41 years, life does not get easier, but looking back my life has been fulfilling, rewarding, and at times just WONDERFUL! Thank you to everyone on this list and for those that I did not get a chance to write about you have been part of who I am. You all have shaped me in some way, and that is what I am grateful for!

Regards,

Michael

Found a New Purpose

I have not been out here in awhile. A lot is going on in my world, with my company being bought and just too busy with work! Basically the motivation to share has BEEN LOW! My blogger friends keep telling me; "No posting, No followers!" It is just tough to find the time to write and share. Many folks let me know that they wish I would keep this thing going, they enjoy it and I do love sharing! So ONCE AGAIN, I am going to give it another SHOT!

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I have found what I have been missing in my life. I have a great loving marriage, beatuiful children and an increibile group of friends. But there was something missing and I did not even realize it! For us guys, it is like having kids. We do not realize that there is this hole in our hearts, until these little rug-rats come along. Than POW there it is, a purpose and a sense of fulfillment!

I recently became a den leader for R's Tiger Cub Scouts. It is the BEST experience for a father and it is filling that hole in my soul. It is has given me a reason to come back out to my blogger community and share again. The recent experiences have been INCREDIBLE!

I volunteered because R asked me too and frankly, I had NO PLANS to do this. It was just going to be another one of those activities you sign your kids up for, but when he asked I saw it in his little face that he really wanted me to participate. When I said yes, his face lit up!

He is so proud to have his dad as the den leader. He can feel his pride in me, and as a father this is the BEST reward in the world. I focus so much energy on showing and telling R and N how proud I am of them and I never thought what it would be like if it was reversed. The experience and feeling of my boy being proud of me goes beyond any words that could ever be written here!

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This weekend I took the boys for our "Go See It" to our local fire station. This months theme is about Heros and these guys are True Heros!

The boys and I had a BLAST, but I believe the firemen had more FUN! It was a two hour tour and could have been longer, but I had to let the men know the boys were getting tired. It is great to be around a group of men who love what they do and love showing it off.

Being a den leader has touched my inner-child. I get to be crazy and silly with the boys. The firemen used me as an example of what they do in extreme rescue situations.

I have to say I kinda of felt like Hannibal Lecter:

Than they just got mean ;-)

The boys thought it was AWESOME!

As I move down another path in fatherhood, I realize that I have an opportunity to influence not only my own boys, but through Cub Scouts, I can impact the lives of many other boys as well!

Life is GOOD!

What is Really Important

Well, I did not make it to the Big Break! I got the letter a couple of weeks ago, stating "please try again". Reflecting on this; I was a bit bummed, got through it and realized it was probably a good thing. Recently received a job promotion along with, my company is being acquired, taking two weeks off my not be the best for my career.

What would I change; I think I was too happy go lucky. Watching the show, I realized that I did not have enough "edge". Next year I am bringing it! Big edge and cockiness! Show and tell them how I will bring these youngings down. Bring the DRAMA and I got DRAMA!

When I posted that I did not make it, I received over 100 condolences. I was ASTONISHED on the replies from my FB family and twitter world. I am so grateful for my family friends and my cyber friends. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!

So what is going on now? Well, the corporate world is a buzz with my company getting purchased. It is a real interesting time for me. I started with my company nine years ago, six months later the "bubble" burst. Six months after that we had our first round of lay-offs.

Since thann my company has had seven lay-offs and I am grateful I have survived so far. The big one will be coming up soon if we get acquired. This acquisition has got me thinking a lot!

What can we really control in life? So many of my peers and friends at work are spun up an getting really worried about something that we have absolutely no control of. Don't get me wrong, I get a bit worried too.

Thus, my family and I went on a trip to Illinois to see some old friends from when KD was in high school! During this road-trip KD and I had some time to talk, road-trips are good for this, especially at night when the kids are sleeping in the back.

Our discussion was about what is really important. KD and I realize we really do sweat the small stuff way to often. We are blessed people, because of our family we will NEVER go without, we will never not have a place to live or not have food on the table. Our boys will be taken care of and we will always have love around us.

We get into these day to day arguments about the smallest things, like living the toilet sit up or not making the bed. From our trip we reflected that we need to remind each other of what is really important in this one life.

MY POINT IS THIS: So many things in life are out of my control. When I feel out of control the small things become bigger.

What is really important to me:

1. My spirituality ~ There is something bigger out there and remembering this instills humility into me. This higher power can own those things I can not control.
2. Relationship with my wife ~ She is my partner and best friend. Life gets going and sometimes we forget this. Our children are only guests, they will leave to go live their lives. We will be left with each other, we do not want to be strangers when this happens.
3. The boys and making time to spend with them one on one and together ~ I need to make memories with these boys as individuals and as brothers. The hole in my soul was completed when these two little beings came into my life!
4. Family ~ You can choose your friends but not your family (or in-laws). I am lucky to have a great group of people who support me as an individual and as a family. I am able to take chances in life because of these people. I am truly a blessed man!
5. Friends ~ We do get to choose our friends. I was told at a young age that one will be able t count their TRUE friends on one hand. We have lots of acquaintances in life. I am a sociable guy, I met lots of people. But I have a couple of guys in my life and a few woman who have come through in the most traumatic times. No questions, "just do it"! These are my "friends"!
6. Health ~ If I do not take care of this than I will not enjoy life. But this comes after the first five. For these people and my spirituality I would sacrifice my health!
7. Career ~ I enjoy what I do and I love the people I work with. I have opportunity to grow and challenge myself everyday. My career is what puts the food on the table and gives life opportunities. But it should not make up who I am!

With that I said I am taking the family camping and fishing!

"To guarantee success, act as
if it were impossible to fail."
- Dorothea Brande

The Big Break Interview Process

Well folks I have completed my audition for the Big Break!  It was so far one of my best experiences in golf.  I have to say, I have NOT been that nervous since my wedding day! 

For what the Big Break is:  http://www.thegolfchannel.com/bigbreak/

This is how it broke down:

Location: Scottsdale AZ

Time: 2:45pm

Temperature: 103 degrees (My face was as red as my shirt by the time I was done)

The producer I met (we will call him "D") was very nice and professional.  He help make the experience very positive!

Golf Performance:

In this first part D had me get set up with my 5 iron and took a still picture of my set-up.  Than I got reset and he had me swing to take a still picture of my swing.  I hit the ball right in the fore-head.  That poor ball was probably bleeding.  UGH!!!!

My heart was now really pumping, I could feel it beating in my chest.  

He than had me grab my driver and set up the TV camera across from me and I hit a couple of drives.  I set up and I POUNDED THEM down the range.  Felt pretty good, especially after my first shot was so poor.  

He than moved the camera behind me and had me hit my 5 iron again.  I laced both 5 irons and redeemed my self from my first shot.  THANK GOODNESS!

Than it was time to hit the flop shot over the imaginary 8 foot wall.  I was ready, I had been practicing this shot for the a last two weeks.  Made my swing!

D than stated that the ball hit the imaginary wall right in the center!  OUCH!  Next flop, I hit a 15 yard CHUNK!  My heart is just pumping!  D reminds me to just relax!  D tells me "the winner of Mesquite Big Break did not hit one of these in his audition."  I felt better and on my third one NAILED IT!

Last of my shots I had to make a 30 yard chip shot over an imaginary 16 foot wall.  First shot, CHUNK!  Just thinking OMG I have left my body, who is this person making these swings. Again, D states that we are not looking for results, we will analyze your swing and we can tell what you got from the video.  Again, I fell better and nail my last shot over the imaginary wall.

Next The Interview:

They moved me over to the next camera, still outside in the 103 degree weather.  I was mic'd up.  D asked the first question: "Tell me how you got started in golf?"  I went into my speech and about three minutes into it, D says, stop!  D states, "Michael take a deep breath, don't look at the camera, look at me.  We are just two guys having a conversation.  There are no right or wrong answers here."  

I took a couple of REAL deep breaths and did remember to exhale.  He than asked me how I met my wife.  I asked if he wanted the clean version or not ;-)  He than had me talk about my two boys, about being a racquetball instructor, and playing the min tours while following the Grateful Dead.  As I was talking about these things he said, "perfect" that is what I am looking for.  

To finish up the interview he asked me to look into the camera and said, "for the producers who are not here, why should you be on the Big Break."  All this stuff comes rushing into my head, what should I say, I mean thousands of things came running into my head.  I decided to keep it short.  I said, "I will bring passion for the game and excitement to the show.  Most importantly, we will just have FUN!"

My post thoughts of the interview

Of course one always thinks they could of said things differently and "should of could of" syndrome.  Having an opportunity to compete in a program to fulfill a dream is just wild!  I can not believe how nervous I was.  But in the end I just tried to be my true self and I feel good about that.

I think they are looking for a personality type to fill one of their 12 boxes.  I hope i fit one of their types.  If so they will place me with probably seven or eight other people who share similar traits.  Than they will compare us against each other and make a decision.  It is truly out of my hands now!

This was one of the coolest things I have done!  D from the Big Break was awesome!  Hoping I can make it to the show, I think I would be a very good ambassador for the program!  But at the end of the day, I took the LEAP to follow my dreams!  This is what life is about!

"What lies behind us, and what lies 
before us are small matters 
compared to what lies within us." 
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Next Step To Full Filling The Dream

Golf Channel has responded to my application:

"Dear Big Break Applicant:

 

Congratulations! You have been selected to move on to the next stage in the Big Break application process. The next stage is an in-person audition with two of Golf Channel’s producers. This audition consists of a golf performance evaluation and a ten minute 1-on-1 interview."

CRAZY!!!! June 2nd I am flying to Scottsdale, Arizona to audition for the Big Break TV Golf Reality show!  I really think I might have a shot at this.

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The interesting thing has begun, the OLD self-doubt!  I call it the committee, these voices in my head.  There is that one that wants to sabotage me.  I know in my heart of hearts I have the game and focus to compete at the highest levels of golf.  I have done it!  But there are times when that committee member "Mr. Sabotage" puts those thoughts that create self doubt, "What if".

I am a believer that we create our worlds from our perception.  So I have to work to keep this guy under control so I keep those positive vibes and a positive perception.  What I know is that golf is like life, what you put into it is what you get out of it.  Thus the best way to keep this guy at "bay", WORK EXTRA HARD & BE PREPARED!

I have been getting up at 5am to go to the gym and at the golf course at 6:45am to hit balls before I start my work day.  For my audition they told me I need to hit, cuts, draws, flops and some drives:

So each day ~ Before: 

After:

I believe that I put the time and commitment in, good things will happen!  This work shuts down the committee and Mr. Sabotage becomes silent. I am building a foundation of confidence!

T-minus 6 days until my audition and possibly a life changing experience!  The important thing to remember for me through all this is: "Success is not the destination, but the journey"!  THIS IS A COOL RIDE!

Commitment & Perseverance

Commitment: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future

Perseverance: to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement

Well played in my first Colorado State Golf Association (CGA) Men's Point Event in three years.  It went anything but the way I wanted it too.  The tournament was played in Loveland CO at The Olde Course.  I was SO nervous on the first three holes, my stomach felt like it was in my throat on the first tee.  Second hole 180 par three, my hands were "wet" from nerves.  IT FELT AWESOME!

I am not going to talk about my score, because for one, I really do not want too, second, there was a lot learned this weekend.  Prior to this event I had been playing very well and back at the gym getting fit.  I really felt I was in the best golf shape and my game was in the best early season shape in a very very long time.  

I had plans last week leading up to the event that I was going to keep my early morning gym commitment and get to the practice range before work.  I can give you a lot of reasons why I did not do this prior to play last weekend, but they would just be excuses.

Interesting KD said something during the week that hit home in mid-tournament.  She said "You get out of life what you put in to it".  I fell this is the same for golf.  How can I expect to excel at the highest levels of Amateur play in my state if I am not going to put the time and practice in to it.  It does cross my mind that I do have a family, a career, and I am a husband!  

KD and I worked out an agreement this year. Play in tournaments as long as the work around the house gets accomplished.  I respect this, when I play in tournaments I am gone on the weekends for two days eight to nine hours.  This makes her week days run into the weekends and she does not get a weekend.  I am gracious for her support and the sacrifice to permit me to compete at these levels.  But if she is going to make the sacrifice than I need to stick to my commitment; 5am gym work-out and practice range at 6:30am so I can get it in before work.  

In regards to my tournament play; On day one I actually was playing well through 11 holes.  Nothing going in the cup yet but nothing bad.  Unfortunately for some reason on 12 I ran out of patience.  I hooked my shot in the water trying to get a little more out of my drive.  Had to take a drop and instead of taking my "medicine" and punch back out to the fairway, I try to hit it over a VERY LARGE tree.  I end up making quadruple bogey.  I felt like I had to make something happen, when in reality I had so much golf left to be played, I needed to be patient.  I unfortunately did not recover after that hole.  I believe the lack of patience is just from not playing two day tournaments in a long time.

On the second day, nothing seem to go my way and got on the "old" bogey train.  After I would finish a hole I will say to myself; stay focused and "finish strong".  Kept saying it and kept making bogeys.  When I am playing this bad the level of discouragement is something that I can not put into words.  Then it occurred to me that I may in fact deserve this!  I did not put in the time needed before the tournament to be prepared.  

At dinner RS asked me how I did.  I said that I did not play well and I was a bit "bummed".  He than asked me "if I had fun".  BAM!  Right there my six year old puts it all into perspective!  No matter what, I was playing golf and doing something that I love!  Playing bad can be really hard, but being able to play is what I am thankful for!

I have three weeks to get ready for the Western Amateur in the first week of June.  KD is going to travel with me and caddy that weekend, my mom is flying out to take care of the boys. "Team Venti" is back out on the course after a break of having kids and starting our family!  Last time she caddied was the 2002 US Open Qualifier!  

With the support of my family, my commitment is to put in the time around game and fitness that is needed to be successful!  My whole family now plays golf, time spent practicing can be spent with my family!  LIFE is so good!

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” Tom Robbins

“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality.” ~ Unknown

Application to Big Break

I really want to first thank Mark Carroll, my in-law cousin via marriage!! LOL!! 

He took time to help me articulate my story. Thank you for your help and support! If I get to the interview phase I owe you a steak dinner ;-)

I have submitted my application for a TV reality golf show on the Golf Channel. 

• http://www.thegolfchannel.com/bigbreak/
  

I have been watching this for years. Every year when I watch, I say to myself, OMG! I can hit that better than him! I Should be on that show!

So I am filling out the application.  I know that they want a story, that makes for good TV, so I believe I have captured something good here!  I have so many stories from my life as a golf professional and growing up on the Monterey Peninsula that if I can get to the interview I believe I can take it to the next level.  Let me know what you think?

What is your primary motivation to be on Big Break and how will being on the show make a positive impact on your career?

The motivation for me can really be summed up in the name of the show itself. You see, this show is really my last chance—I am looking to fulfill a dream. Back in the early 90s, I was an assistant professional for the Pebble Beach company and during that time I also played the mini-tours.

I would teach, work the shop and whenever I could, find a tournament I would go play in along the coast of California. As you can imagine, being in my early 20s, many nights were spent with three or four of us players in a Motel 6 room for $36 bucks a night. The bed was considered the prize of the day—whoever had the low round got one of the beds, the others got the floor in a sleeping bag. Needless to say, my competition also became some of my closest friends. Even today, we share many fond memories of those times.

Of course, I didn't have much else to share at the time. My briefcase was my golf bag. But inevitably as I got older, new priorities came along like a family and I had to trade my golf clubs for an office. I can rationalize all I want that this was the right thing to do for where I was in my life. After all, my golf skills have served me well in the business world as I've developed a career in the high-tech industry.

But the hunger to play professionally still drives me. I applied for reinstatement of my amateur status in 1999. And with the support of my wife, I play competitive amateur golf in the hopes of possibly winning a USGA title and getting an exemption to a PGA event (she even caddies for me).

To me, Big Break is more than just another avenue to fulfill a life dream, it's really my last chance to see if I have what it takes. It's also my chance to show my children that living life is really about chasing your dreams, and as long as you have the support of family and friends, and a core belief in yourself, anything can be accomplished. Big Break is this opportunity!


What obstacles if any have you overcome in your life or in the game of golf?

Not only was I the smallest in my class, but I also grew up with a stuttering problem and Dyslexia. Having a speech impediment brought a lot of teasing from my peers in grade-school. The Dyslexia made learning difficult (I was not diagnosis until much later in life). While I tried to remained positive and outgoing as a child, my learning disability and speech impediment were big blows to my self-confidence.

Then at age 12, my stepfather was hired as Head of Security in Pebble Beach. This job came with a house in 17-mile drive. I was introduced to the game I love by borrowing my stepfather's old rusty Walter Haggan clubs and sneaking on the Par 3 Peter Hay golf course. We couldn't afford for me to belong to any club, so this practice of "walking on" was only way I could play. As I got better I would sneak on, and be chased by, the marshals at Pebble Beach and Monterey Peninsula Country Club on a regular basis.

Soon after, I joined the tourists staying at the lodge for rounds at the Par 3. By the end of that summer I would play these guys for a couple of bucks using my lunch money that my mom gave me. Steadily, I "earned" enough money so I could buy my own used clubs. Golf was more than just a sport—it was freedom from the things that held me back. I never had to say too much, except “nice shot,” thanks to golf game etiquette. So no one ever noticed my stuttering. And playing against the adults gave me a level of confidence I had never experienced. Golf became a place of refuge for me. Daily practice taught me focus and commitment. And the view from every tee box to the distant green filled me with a serenity I'd never known before.

I somehow managed to graduate from high school with sub-standard grades. I never made it in college, so once again I turned to golf and tried my shot at becoming a professional. After five years of playing mini-tours and working to become a Class “A,” I still felt that I was always going to be held back because of my lack of education.

Then it happened; I was having dinner with a successful CEO during a Pebble Beach tournaments and, like something straight out of Caddyshack, I found myself like Danny Noonan discussing my desires to go to school but feeling that I was going backwards. Plus, I had a fear of school and the failure I'd always associated with it. That's when this Ty Webb of sorts shared something that I'll never forget. He said, ”Going to school is not taking a step back. When Joe Montana wants to throw a touchdown, he takes three steps back to see the whole field. From there he makes a decision on what to do. Going to school allows you to make that decision.” That very night, I made the decision to go back to school.

I graduated from Monterey Peninsula College with an Associates degree in 1998. I had gone from a C-minus student to an Honors student and a school Senator that helped write a bill to lower the tuition for Community Colleges in the state of California.

School was always difficult for me. The game of golf provided me the tools to overcome this challenge by applying focus and commitment, while trusting in myself!

What has been your greatest accomplishment in golf?

I truly believe my greatest accomplishment is yet to come. I have played in hundreds of golf tournaments as an amateur and a professional. I've taught some of the biggest CEOs in America and I've had the privilege of working with Jim Flick in the Nicklaus/Flick schools during the early 90's. In 1992, I was responsible for all the corporate golf tournaments for the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach, running daily double shotguns and making sure that the corporate sponsors were happy and having fun. And most recently, I won the Player of the Year and State Championship for the Keller Williams Golf Tour in 2004.

But, let me reiterate, my greatest accomplishment in golf is yet to come. I have two beautiful boys in my life. I want them to receive the same rewards in their lives that this game has provided me. I want them to experience that moment when they make their first birdie. I want them to feel the satisfaction that comes with hard-work and dedication. And above all else, I want them to understand the meaning of sportsmanship that I believe only golf still maintains.

Every day, I try to lead by example and show my boys firsthand that dreams can be achieved. In fact, I've even created a blog to chronicle my chasing of these dreams and how to balance this with family, career and life's other challenges: http://ventisworld.blogspot.com.

If I get on the Big Break and win, it will open doors that have always been locked to me. And while this will be a great accomplishment, I'm proud to say the greatest accomplishment will be how I share this with my boys. It will inspire them to achieve their dreams and overcome the challenges that life throws at all of us.


Tell us who is your hero, and why:

Fellow Northern Californian Ken Venturi. He is one of my heroes because the game of golf also helped him overcome all of his personal challenges in life. As a child, he too was a stutterer and golf became a place of solace for him. He went on to become one of the best amateurs in the country and was compared to Bobby Jones at the time. He took 2nd at the Masters as an amateur when Palmer came storming back on the last four holes to overtake him.

Unfortunately, Venturi had struggles when he turned professional and turned to alcohol. He fought back from the clutches of alcoholism to win his first Open fighting heat exhaustion. I'll always admire his commitment, drive and passion for the game.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s, he was the voice of golf for me! His tales of the Masters and the history of the game resonated with me as a young golfer. And his life story of challenges, success, heartbreak and, in the end, real personal and professional success gives me hope and determination to fight for my dreams.

Future TV Star & The Fight Against Weight is ON!

Well I am going to apply for the Golf Channels "Big Break".  This is a reality TV show for golfers.  

• http://www.thegolfchannel.com/bigbreak/
  

This seasons winner gets $100,000!  Previous seasons they have given exemptions into PGA & LPGA tour events.  Hoping to get an opportunity to fulfill my dream.  When I complete my entry forum I will post my essay answers.  Like to know what you all think.

I have been back at the gym!  I saw this picture of me from EASTER, OMG!!  I look huge!  I think I need a man bra ~ The "Bro" I was SO Sucking it in!

I weighed in at 196 three weeks ago, my goal is 175.  That is NOT too skinny!  Why 175, because according to the National Heal Institute based on my height this is the right BMI weight.  Here is a BMI website for you to use.  This is truly the healthiest way to do this.  http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

The good news is over the last three weeks I am now down to 188!  Mostly water weight if you know what I mean. I joined Weight Watchers on-line, this has really helped also.  I have done it in the past with positive results.  I once went to a Weight Watchers meeting, SO NOT FOR ME! One, I as the only guy and two it was really for folks with eating disorders.  People who eat for emotional reasons.  I just like to eat, TOO MUCH ;-)

I believe if I can get in the zone with my weight, my golf game will follow.  In just a short three weeks I already feel better and this last Saturday I LIT it up on the golf course, going two under for nine holes.  This is the first golf season in a long time I feel like I am really going to take it to the next level!

I have the following going for me:

1. Wife and family support me
2. Working out each morning before work ( A PLAN!)
3. Practice routine each week (Before and after work)

Now it is about execution.  I have been getting up at 5am to start my day!  It is amazing how much better I feel about myself!

My high level goals for golf in the next three years:

1. Win my Club Championship
2. Win the State Stroke Play, State Match Play or State Mid-Am Championships
3. Qualify for a USGA event 

• Note: If I make it and win the Big Break, these goals will change!
  

Last thing, John Daly is now following me on twitter @PGAJohn_Daly, SO COOL!  He is playing on the European Tour now and is pretty fun to follow.  If you are a twitter and like golf, he is a good one!

Have a great week!

"It's never too late to become the person you might have been." George Elliot 

Easter Trip To Palm Springs ~ Rededication

We just got back from a great Easter in Palm Springs, hanging with my in-laws.  We stayed at the Vintage Club.  This place is just FREAKING AWESOME!  My father-in-laws locker at the golf course is next to John Elway and Bill Gates.   

I love my father in-law, he really is a down to earth person who in his own words "got lucky". I believe he got lucky, but I also believe he worked very hard to get where he is now.  Do not get me wrong, he LOVES to give advice solicited or unsolicited.

I am lucky that my family and myself get to enjoy this life-style once and awhile.

The first three days I SLEPT!  I took a nap each day with Nc, I did not realize how exhausted I was from all the stress at work.  We have been going through reductions in work-force and restructuring. I seriously did not feel normal until Easter.  My family kept asking what was wrong and there really wasn't anything wrong, I was just so tired, emotionally and physically.

Easter Sunday was a beautiful 75 degrees.  The club brings in a little carnival with rides and a petting zoo.  There really is not an Easter egg hunt, but more of how fast you can fill your basket up.  They divide the kids by age and than the eggs are spread out in the tennis courts.  I am talking about thousands of plastic eggs in these courts.  They release the flood gates and the kids grab the eggs.  It is like watching locust go across the tennis courts.  In minutes the eggs are all gone!  

That afternoon Rs played his first full 9 holes with his Papa and Meme.  He did great, he held to our two most important rules:

1. Keep up
2. Have fun

Rs actually made a par on a Par 3.  It was wonderful to watch this little man make a 7 footer and pump his fist as it rolled in the hole.  Thinking about it makes me giggle now! 

Funny part is that we had to play with Elmer.  Who is Elmer?  Well he is a stuffed gorrila that Rs's kindergarten teacher gave him for the weekend to travel with and journal each day.  I seriously was concerned that we were going to have to buy a seat for this gorilla on the plane.

The trip was great for me personally.  It fired up the juices again for golf and the competition around it.  I have been playing golf for 28 years.  The last 6 years we have been working to establish a family.  Our youngest is now old enough and we have found a babysitter that we trust, I believe some freedoms have opened for both KD and I.  

Golf truly is who I am and brings me so much joy. Especially to be able to share it now with my boys and soon my wife ;-) YES, KD starts lessons next week.  She figures that with two boys she completes the foursome.  I could not agree more!  I also think she likes the idea of golf vacations in the Carolina's.

When I am playing golf and competing I feel better about myself and it builds confidence in who I am.  I want to go to the gym and eat healthy to perform at a higher level.  By doing those things and performing better, I feel better about myself.  And when I feel better about myself I am a better father, husband and employee.

Golf is part of my identity, as is being a father, husband, and my career.  I believe it is OK for these things to define you, how can they not!  The work is the balance and looking at the rewards that each of these bring into my life.  I work through the challenges that these also bring to make me stronger.

For instance I spend 40 plus hours a week at work and probably another 10 to 15 thinking about it.  When things are going good, I feel good and when they are going bad I sometimes personalize it.  Same thing with my marriage and the relationship with my boy's, it is highs and lows. As KD says, "there are peaks and valleys, and after 15 years there are going to be some HIGH peaks and LOW valleys".  For another 50 years we will still have these, but as we grow together hopefully the peaks will be higher and more often and the valleys are less and not as low ;-)  But these define me, because this is my life!

My favorite thing I say and I say this every morning and sometimes a couple of times a day:

God (or whoever) grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change and the courage to change the things that I can.

In the upcoming days I will share my plan and goals to achieve some of my dreams to compete at the State and National level for amateur golf.  With this also comes the balance with being a father, a husband, and my career.  I will keep you all updated on my progress.  Hopefully some one out there may learn something form my success and more importantly failures!

"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." 
- Dale Carnegie

Consulting the "Idiot" ~ ME

Once again, work and life get going so fast that time just gets away! I have decided that if I could go back in time I would be six or seven again;  No bills, girls were just one of the boys, and I was blessed to always have food on the table! The most important decision was what I was going to play that day and I actually got BORED!

With a two boy family, my weekends are just absolutely CRAZY!  This last weekend was the first in awhile where there was NO birthday parties. February we had seven birthday's (OUCH $$$)!  But, we still had plenty of other plans for the weekend! 

KD had a mom's club thingy on Friday night, so the boys and I had a "guys" night! Saturday was a Wii party! Can you believe it, total video game party. Sunday night we had our family dinner up in the mountains with the in-laws.

The difficult part for me was not how busy I was, but how stressed out I was from work!  I wish in my hearts of hearts I was one of those guys that did not take things so personal, especially at work. But when things are not right I make it personal and I feel the need that I have to fix it. Unfortunately, many times my family suffers from this, I withdraw. 

I do not mean too, but I get "ALL up in my head",  I call it, "consulting the idiot".  Seriously why do I consult this person, like he can fore-see the future or control other people.  But the "idiot" thinks he can!   I had many one on one sessions with the "idiot" this last weekend (they are free of charge), I became unavailable for the family and had absolutely no patience. I HATE IT!

So to try to break away, we went on a hike up in Evergreen before the family dinner on Sunday. We had a plan to hit the trail up to Maxwell Falls, a little late of course, because that is what we do as a family. We are a heard of turtles leaving the house. We hit the trail around lunch time in hopes to have lunch on the trail.



Well, NC has a poopy diaper at the trail head, so that gets changed. KD takes a stick to the nose and draws blood before we even get started! NC does not want to be in his pack anymore because he is hungry (no lunch yet), so we let him walk up the trail. He is just taking on the trail full force, but he takes a "header" and draws blood (all OK).  We come to a crossing in the trail that has a piece of frozen stream that we think we need to cross to keep going.  KD goes for it to see if it was even possible. Well, she falls and slides down the stream on her butt. 

After a well deserved choice word or two by KD, we decided to circle back and have lunch at a nice little rock back up the trail. Everyone is feed, happy and so we decide to head-back to the car.



We get back to the car and I look at our GPS. This is what it said:
* Odometer: 1.8 miles
* Total tripe time: 2hrs 12 mins.
* Total walk time: 52 mins:
* Total standing time 1hr 20 mins. THAT IS RIGHT WE STOOD AROUND MORE THAN WE DID HIKING! 

We did not make it to the falls this time, but we were out here as a family and for 2hrs and 12 mins. I WAS NOT CONSULTING THE IDIOT!

This week we are going out and trying GEOCACHING: http://www.geocaching.com/
Geocaching is a game played all over the world. People hide little treasures around neighborhoods or out in the woods. You locate these using GPS. You take something and you leave something. It is treasuring hunting with the kids.  Should be interesting!

Maybe we will do more hiking than standing this time! I will let you know how it goes!

Introduction and Having Dreams

Well this is my first endeavor into the blogging world. My friend "D" has been blogging for sometime at eatplaylove and this has inspired me. Maybe I am not the only guy out there trying to balance a career, family, and still trying to accomplish his dreams (delusions) before he leaves this earth.

I believe having dreams is what keeps us going. We all have them, we all want to be or do something. If one truly looks and reflects on their life they may want to travel, find a new job, or accomplish something that they have never done before.

For me, especially now having two little rugrats, maintaing and achieving some of these dreams are important in being a positive role model. Nc is two an Rs is five. The boys are ALL about having dreams and I want to cultivate this and help them believe that they can do ANYTHING they want to put their minds too. With that said, I can not preach or teach them about working towards these dreams if I do not have them myself and I am not willing to work towards these dreams.

Dreams are about setting goals, having commitment, and through being committed and achieving these goals one can ascertain anything. My dreams give me purpose and provide an outlet to the stresses of going through daily life. I recognize that where I am in my life, to achieve these things I need a supporting cast. I have that with a very special woman that I married KD.

KD and I met 17 years ago in a quite little bar in Carmel, California. She would have nothing to do with me at the time. I finally talked her into going to a Grateful Dead show and after three years of being "buddies", I finally talked her into a real date and the rest his history (there is a lot more to this story, more to come in future blogs).

I still want to play in a PGA event or a Senior PGA event (I am 40 now). I play competitive golf at the state level, but over the last six years with starting a family this has been very hard. Having a weekend be taken up for a golf tournament, makes it hard on KD. It is really unfair for her to be home with the boy's all week and than have her do the same thing on the weekend to allow me to play golf. So I have cut back my schedule the last six years. BUT, Nc is now two and Nana has move closer to us. Team Venti is back! I say Team Venti because KD used to caddie for me. It is the best thing in the world to have your partner and support out there. Plus she knows me better than anyone.

One time in US Open qualifying I needed to go birdie, birdie to qualify for the next stage of the US Open. On 16 I hit my tee shot into the trees and of course I get a little upset with myself. As we are walking down the fairway she says "you might have a shot". I turn to her and snap to say that there is "no way I have a shot". She puts down the bag and looks at me and says; "you do not need to talk to me that way, you can carry the bag the rest of the way yourself! Plus if you are not going to stay positive I will see you at the clubhouse!" I immediately apologized and what do you know, I had a shot between the trees. I made par, birdied 17 and par'd 18 to miss by two. It was a real time gut check out there! It is great to have her back and I look forward on taking road-trips to different tournaments this year.

Lastly, golf is a passion for me. I have been playing since I was thirteen and was a professional for six years four of them at Pebble Beach. When I am playing golf I find so much serenity. I get to share this passion with my boy's and now my wife (KD says she is finally going to learn how to play this summer).

I hope this was OK for my first blog? I have so much more to say! Your comments are greatly appreciated.

Venti